"Tots in Tiaras" or Child Abuse?

I often shake my head when I see these "mommy dearest" young girls trotted out in Entertainment Tonight in a "slow-mo car wreck" manner - but this takes it to an all new low.

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Mothers Child abuse

Chilling case of child abuse in news yesterday with headline "Manslaughter for mom who shopped for CDs as scalded baby lay dying from burns"   And the father tried to inquire about the child but was putoff or down by Mom - AND HE BUCKLED.

I find this quite interesting as one of Lionel Tigers pieces recently was how men are today so highly conditioned to think less of their parenting skills - and often allow themsleves to browbeaten as "inferior" to mom's "superior, innate knowledge" - when it is just rubbish.   If keep at it, sometimes they learn to trust themselves more and begin to understand the ruse.  But, some don't.

As this child was so young, the Dad believed the stereotypical rubbish our media constantly feeds us - so he buckled and lost.   Very sad.

NDVH makes surprising admission

Glenn SACKS had this post today from the San Luis Obispo Tribune:

Men are often silent victims of domestic violence

It mentions the U.S National Domestic Violence Hotline (www.NDVH.org) but notice that it's a helpline for "domestic violence," but if you want to know whether you're a victim, "violence" all of a sudden becomes "abuse." And there are 15 sets of things that can constitute "abuse," but only one of them is physical violence.

That's absolutely standard procedure on sites like the NDVH's. There's a seamless and (the organization hopes) unnoticed transition from violence to abuse which miraculously consists almost not at all of actual violence. Thus is the definition of "violence" expanded beyond all recognition. Thus is the number of victims increased accordingly. Thus is the funding for "domestic violence" programs, shelters, etc. also increased.

However, the Top 3 Reasons Men stay with their abusers?

1. Protecting their children.

Fearing the courts will automatically give custody to the mother, the father worries that his children will be abused if they leave the family home.

2. Assuming blame.

In this situation, men buy into the woman's reasons for delivering abuse rather than recognizing the abuse is unreasonable. This trait is common among both women and men.

3. Dependency.

The man is dependent on the woman for financial, social, or emotional support and fears the loss of such if he leaves the relationship. This trait, too, is shared between women and men suffering abuse.

I didn't expect to see that.

Native Justice for Christopher PAUCHAY?

For the sake of the children?

One year ago today - January 29 2008 - Western Canadians were shocked to hear about a 25 year-old native father Christopher PAUCHAY, who was found half-dead from hypothermia in a snowbank only a few meters from a friends home. After a late night drinking binge, he had foolishly decided to walk the short distance to his home into a -50C blizzard clothed in nothing more than a light golf-type jacket. Alone, he may have done us a favour, but he had with him his 2 young daughters - 1yr old Santana and 3 yr old Kaydance - dressed only in diapers and Tshirts - also woefully inadequate for the circumstances. By the time he recovered enough to be understood 8 hours later, a frantic search for the girls found them both dead of exposure - again only meters from his home. His common-law wife and the girls mother, Tracey JIMMY was elsewhere drinking heavily that night with friends.

PAUCHAY plead guilty to criminal negligence causing death and before Xmas was released under bail conditions into this small, remote community of Yellow Quill 250km east of Saskatoon SK. He was re-arrested and charged with breech of these bail conditions on two occasions being Dec 16 and Jan 8 - hardly surprising in such a small place addled with substance abuse problems - of consuming alcohol and being in the presence of alcohol being consumed.

However instead of receiving his sentence from the Judge, he requested a "native sentencing circle", a recent "innovation" for addressing the epidemic of crime that has been growing among the aboriginal communities. A circle may consist of upto 40 people. This one will have at least 22 - 5 family members, 4 community, 1 probation officer, 1 mental health officer, 2 members of the bands justice committee, 1 RCMP, 2 others for each of the victims, at least 2 elders and 2 facilitators. The mother has elected not to attend.

If there is Hell on earth, this man will know it. Only he can live it. Meanwhile it takes an army of enablers to tell us that he alone was responsible. No one tried to stop him? No one thought that Mum should be called about the circumstances? In these communities 2 or more extended family's usually share the same home. Drinking to such excess with children around struck no-one as dangerous? No one stopped drinking when he was on bail?

It seems to me that there is lot's of blame to go around. How is it that our current Family Law system erects such huge barriers to fathers who desperately want to parent their children and then often criminalizes them for this behaviour. While at the same time, heap resources on communities that are dysfunctional to the point of criminality and enable them to make deadly decisions for their kids.

Our Courts are failing us all.