Thursday, March 26, 2015

Boyhood is not a Pathololgy

The key to this wonderful ode to boyhood is action.   I believe this is a core attribute of maleness - young or old.

Recently I read this article "Is the ‘Female Way of Learning’ Destroying Boyhood?" in which she identifies 1990 when feminist Carol Gilligan identified boys as defective girls who needed to be changed - that the beginning of the end for boys was neigh.

For millions of years, males have been perfecting the art of “maleness,” and this maleness was considered throughout historical time to be extremely valuable to the functioning and maintenance of society (Stolzer, 2005). What are we to do now that, for the first time in the history of humankind, we have defined these ancient and uniquely male traits as pathological? The answer is that we have constructed a myriad of disorders (i.e., behavioral disorders, learning disabilities, and so on) that are currently rampant in the education system and in many instances require that male children use pharmaceutical drugs in order to alter their behavioral patterns so that they will conform to the scripts set forth by their female constituents (Stolzer, 2005). Ethical Human Psychology and Psychiatry, Volume 10, Number 2, 2008
Taking that incidence to its conclusion is feminism - including this (supposed) story that also popped up in Feb - a feminist bragging how happy she was that she had aborted her boy fetus.
Last week social media jumped on the story of a woman who supposedly decided to have a late-term abortion specifically because she found out she was having a boy. Based on a near-anonymous comment posted on an Internet forum, the story is highly questionable at best. Nevertheless, both pro- and anti-abortion advocates pounced on the missive.
If true - this is proof that we are - literally - creating another gendercide.

It another article this mother notes:
True to their own biological nature the boys talked a bit less, but hugged twice as much. The simple reality of gender (one that we often tend to ignore) is that what boys don’t express verbally they express physically, emotions being at the top of the list.
Women can have a three hour in-depth conversation about an issue that would inspire a man to sit, listen, absorb and respond with a hug and a “I’m sorry.” Depending on the situation it can be enough to drive a woman nuts. We dig words. Quite often, a man’s words are in his deeds. 
It’s a biological communication gap that contemporary feminism, with its disregard for biological gender cues, tends to ignore far too often at the peril of both boys and girls.
Again - it is actions that are important - not words.

Therapist Tom Golden has made a point of studying the grief process of men - and written about it in "The Way Men Heal" and "Swallowed by a Snake"

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