Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Dr. Helen Interview - What every young man needs to know...

Dr. Helen did an online interview with Laurence KANE, a Martial Arts instructor from Seattle WA and author of book entitled "The Little Black Book of Violence: What Every Young Man Needs to Know About Fighting."

I believe this kind of work is important.  However, I am not satisfied with the way it has been treated in the case of IPV and this book seems not to have helped (caveat: I draw this conclusion from this interview and reading synopsis/summaries at Amazon.com, where the book is available).  Most DV programs fail to deal with the root causes and understanding of IPV (Intimate Partner Violence).

The advice given in this book is the life lessons that fathers used to teach their sons!  With the breakdown of family and marginalization of fathers in playing a role as parent, we now need to depend on Judo instructors to do the job and discern the true nature of threats, violence and how to deal with.  Women and mothers - on balance - have different experience with anger, aggression and personal combat than men.  In fact I believe that they mis-coach their sons to "step-up" using stereotypical/idealized ideas of male chivalry and actually exacerbate confrontational situations.  This has not helped boys - who grow up to become men - or families deal with violence.

What I found interesting in this interview is the contention by KANE that a number of deadly encounters should be distinguished as either social aggression or predatory violence - and he spends a great deal of his book instruction readers how to discern between the two.  Each requires a different approach.  In particular he discusses the little used method of "de-escalating" situations by talking down subjects and/or "walking away".  (The RCMP should review this part of the book as they appear to have forgotten it.)

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